From problem-solving father Chuck Heaton, we've got a simple conversion from baby crib to bike storage:

From Chuck: "So we have a drip-side crib that our kids were raised in that was still functional. It is now deemed dangerous, a baby killer, taken off the market, etc, blah, blah, blah. Time to upcycle this baby killer into the Heaton Bike Wrangler, Ka POW! Regulations give you lemons, you make strawberry lemonade. Depending on how well it hold up, those sweed cuddly baby raising memories will be supporting great family bike rides for a while." 

Thanks Chuck. For anyone reading: what have you repurposed for bike storage? I submit my Karate Monkey hitchin' post: